The Essential List of Questions for Your Officiant before Your Wedding Day

Victoria Wick

16 Feb 2025 — 4 min read

Planning your wedding ceremony is an exciting, yet sometimes daunting, task—especially if you’ve chosen a loved one to officiate. While having a friend or family member officiate adds a deeply personal touch, it also comes with unique challenges. Your friend might be stepping into this role for the first time, making preparation crucial. Here are essential questions to discuss with your officiant well in advance to ensure everything goes smoothly on your big day.

Before the Wedding Day: Getting Started

1. Who Will Handle Legal Requirements?
Determine who will research the legal requirements for your marriage in your state or county, and confirm that your officiant's online ordination meets those standards. This step is essential to ensure your marriage is legally binding.

Pro tip: Stage the marriage license at the entrance to the reception so you don't forget to sign it after the ceremony! ✍️

2. Who Is Responsible for Writing the Ceremony Script?
Decide whether you, your partner, or your officiant will draft the ceremony script. If your friend is taking on this task, provide guidance on your preferences, tone, and any must-have elements.

3. What Level of Surprise Do You Want?
Discuss whether you’d like parts of the ceremony to be a surprise. Some couples enjoy hearing heartfelt words they didn’t expect, while others prefer to review everything in advance.

4. Who Will Choose the Officiant’s Attire?
Talk about whether the officiant will choose their own outfit or if you have specific requests to match your wedding’s color palette or dress code.

5. Who Will Gather Ceremony Supplies?
Clarify who will be responsible for gathering essential items like candles, a ring box, or props for a unity ritual. This helps avoid last-minute confusion.

Pro tip: Give copies of your vows to the officiant and your wedding party, minimizing the chance that you forget.

Logistics and Communication

6. Who Will Share the Ceremony Timeline?
Confirm who will communicate the timeline and key moments of the ceremony to the venue staff, day-of coordinator, or DJ. This ensures that everyone is on the same page about when each part of the ceremony will take place.

7. Will There Be a Ceremony Program?
Discuss whether you’ll provide a printed program for guests, and if so, decide who will design and produce it. Programs can help guide guests through the order of the ceremony and highlight important details.

8. Are There Venue-Specific Rules to Consider?
Check with your venue for any restrictions (e.g., no open flames or confetti) and agree on who will be responsible for confirming and adhering to these rules.

Pro tip: If a venue prohibits certain items, they'll likely have good suggestions for what to use as a substitute. Just ask! 🕯️

Wedding Rehearsal Planning

9. Who Will Lead the Wedding Rehearsal?
Determine who will facilitate the rehearsal and which elements need to be covered, from entrance cues to the placement of the wedding party.

On the Wedding Day: Ensuring Everything Runs Smoothly

10. Who Brings the Essentials?
Clarify who will be responsible for bringing important items like the rings, vows, and marriage license to the ceremony. These details can easily be overlooked in the excitement.

11. Who Handles the Sound System?
If your ceremony requires a microphone or speakers, decide who will set up the sound system and perform a quick test before guests arrive.

12. Who Announces the “No Phones” Rule?
If you’d prefer an unplugged ceremony, decide whether the officiant will remind guests to put their phones away or if this will be communicated in the program.

13. Who Gives the Ceremony Cue?
Identify who will signal the start of the ceremony and guide the wedding party as they walk down the aisle.

Pro tip: When you do a venue tour, time how long it takes you to walk down the aisle so you can plan your processional music accordingly. ⏱️

14. Who Directs Guests After the Recessional?
Discuss who will inform guests of what to do after the ceremony, whether it’s heading to the reception or gathering for a group photo.

Post-Ceremony Tasks

15. Who Ensures the Marriage License Gets Signed?
Confirm who will make sure the marriage license is signed and submitted to the appropriate authorities right after the ceremony.

16. Who Announces the Newlyweds at the Reception?
If you'd like your officiant to announce you at the reception or give a pre-meal blessing, make sure to coordinate this detail in advance.

Pro tip: After being announced at the reception, transition directly into your first dance—while people are still gathered and aren't distracted by food. 🎂

Wrapping Up

Choosing a loved one to officiate your wedding can add warmth and authenticity to your ceremony. With thorough preparation and open communication, you can help them feel confident and ready to guide you through one of the most meaningful moments of your life. For more insights on planning the ceremony itself, check out my guide on how to structure your wedding ceremony.

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Photos on this page by Karl Bjorn Photography, optical service, Dan Parlante, Anastasiia Chepinska, Taha Samet Arslan, and Vince Fleming.