Insider Wisdom for New Wedding Officiants: 4 Tips for Nailing an Unforgettable Ceremony

Stepping into the role of an officiant for a friend or family member's wedding is an honor that comes with its share of nerves and excitement. While the internet offers a quick path to becoming ordained, I know the actual task of officiating can feel daunting, especially if it's your first time. As an experienced officiant turned ceremony coach, I created this post with the six simplest steps anyone can take to make sure they feel as fearless as a seasoned professional officiant when performing their first wedding ceremony.

Here's What You Need to Know to Officiate Like a Pro

The "I do's" are the heart of the wedding day, and as an officiant, you're tasked with making the ceremony memorable for all the right reasons. Whether you're a natural public speaker or someone who gets a little jittery at the thought of standing up in front of a crowd, these tips are designed to help any first-time officiant navigate the day with confidence and grace. Plus, I've added a few extra pointers to make sure you go above and beyond to perform a wedding ceremony your friends will cherish forever—and their guests won't be able to stop talking about!

1. Keep a Clear Head Before the Ceremony

It's completely understandable to feel jittery before stepping up to officiate— it is a significant day, after all! So it's tempting to reach for a drink to calm your nerves, but soothing yourself with alcohol won't set you up for success. Impaired judgment and coordination are the last things you want when you're about to play a pivotal role in your friends' big day! Instead, engage in some deep breathing, lean on a buddy for moral support (preferably not the couple getting hitched, because they'll have a lot going on), and remind yourself that wedding guests are generally warm and forgiving audiences. Everyone is there to celebrate love, making them more receptive and appreciative. So commit to staying sober through the ceremony, and enjoy a celebratory toast once your official responsibilities are completed.

2. Strategically Position Yourself for the Kiss

As the ceremony reaches its peak with the much-anticipated embrace, make sure to discreetly move to the side before you invite them to seal their vows with a kiss, ideally behind the wedding party (if there is one). This ensures that the couple gets the spotlight for this iconic ceremony moment without you accidentally photo-bombing. And trust me, your thoughtful positioning will be appreciated not only by the couple, but also by the professional photographer tasked with capturing the highlights!

3. Keep the Spotlight on the Couple

Post-ceremony, you'll likely receive plenty of compliments on the beautiful job you've just done. While it's easy to get caught up in the hype, remember to redirect any praise back to the couple. Use moments of recognition to celebrate them further, with responses like, "Thank you, they really make it easy to celebrate love like theirs, don't they?" This keeps the focus where it belongs and contributes to the joyous atmosphere of the day.

4. Ensure the Legalities are Handled Promptly

The romance of the day aside, there's a critical administrative role you play as the officiant: dealing with the marriage certificate. Make sure to fulfill your legal obligations, first by having the couple sign the document immediately following the ceremony, and then by filing the signed document with the appropriate local authorities as soon as possible after the wedding. Promptly filing the signed marriage license not only finalizes the legal union but also relieves the couple of potential stress. Once completed, inform the newlyweds that everything is in order, allowing them to fully immerse in their post-wedding bliss without administrative worries—or the awkwardness of having to remind you.

5. Prepare and Practice Your Script

The importance of getting comfortable with your ceremony script cannot be overstated. Practice it thoroughly until it feels familiar—not just saying the words but also giving it pacing and emotion. Go slower than feels comfortable, and then do it again even slower. This preparation will help with muscle memory, and remind you not to speak too quickly during the actual ceremony.

Practicing over and over has the added benefit of naturally helping you memorize phrases here and there. Even a little bit of memorization makes a huge difference in maintaining eye contact with the audience and the couple, which makes the ceremony feel more personal and engaging for everyone. Remember, your role is to guide the emotional tone of the ceremony, and being well-prepared allows you to do this seamlessly.

6. Be the Calm in Their Storm

Weddings, no matter how well-planned, can be unpredictable. As the officiant, your ability to remain calm and adaptable can be a tremendous asset. If unexpected issues arise, your steady presence and readiness to smoothly navigate changes can be incredibly reassuring to the couple on their special day.

By incorporating these tips, first-time officiants can not only perform their duties with confidence but also add a layer of warmth and professionalism to the ceremony that the couple will cherish forever. Remember, your role is pivotal in making their day memorable, and with the right preparation and mindset, you're more than up to the task.

Feeling inspired to step up as an officiant but not quite sure where to start? Or perhaps you're looking for that extra bit of polish to ensure the ceremony is as special and memorable as can be? As a professional ceremony and vows coach, that's where I come in. I have lots of experience composing heartfelt ceremony scripts and prepping first-time officiants, so I pride myself in offering the most comprehensive support out there to support first-time officiants at every stage. Whether it's crafting a beautiful, personalized script that resonates with the couple's unique story, or providing tips and techniques to deliver it with confidence and grace, my resources and services are designed to elevate the ceremony experience for everyone involved.

Your journey to becoming a confident officiant starts here

Don't let nerves or uncertainty hold you back from performing an unforgettable role in your loved one's wedding. Sign up for my newsletter to get the inside scoop on officiating a beautiful ceremony, or schedule a chat with me if you want my help creating a ceremony that's a true reflection of the love and commitment it celebrates.

Photos on this page by Key Notez, Wallace Araujo, Ari Syuhada, and Vasily Koloda.